I went for a walk in the park today after a couple of years. It was a weird experience. The wind blew hard transferring dust loyally right into my eyes irking up my tear tissues. My face was masked within minutes with dust layers and I was sure many blackheads would later surface as a result.
The park has changed so drastically over the years, its almost scary to see signs of 'No Cycling, No Dogs and No Sports'. We've done all that, and more - without a person to care.
It no longer has the see-saws (that I could never outweigh anyone on) or the jungle-gym (that I was always too short to get onto). Now its all landscaped greens accompanied with manicured bushes and a musical fountain to match. No longer do wildgrass grow or uneven flora exists.
Its changed like a teenage girl freshly gets her brows plucked and her moustache removed. And you don't really know if she's looking better or worse. The innocence so gone, knowing it can never return.
As I walked through, images of a forgotten past flashed through my head and tugged at some unknown strings. A whole jungle of greens and mosquitos at our disposal to play hide-and-seek or to run after each other for no apparent reason till the late hours of the evening. A silent boundary to sit on, facing the road before playing silly games which never bore any fruits not had any conditions of a result. A result - never meaning your life, or your admission into a college.
Just plain, pure, unadultrated fun. The kind you have when you climb a small hill of construction material and come sliding down giggling - and filthy. Achievements of the day measured in athletic performances or the number of hours spent in the sun. Visiting their houses like your own.
And then, the studies hit you - the fears torment you - teenage love dispels you into a million dismal colors of gray, taking away that from you that you never treasured - until much much later.
Walking through the park, my ears holding on to the earplugs playing Bryan Adams, it made me wonder what I had today that I'd be thinking so about tomorrow...
Comments
...board exam results - definitely (joke). That's urban life for you, moribund, hectic, pathetic, yet muchly craved for. It seems more as though the wind was a warning, for tough times ahead, a struggle. For what...we might never know. Almost makes me doubt why we're doing, what we're doing. If the wind shows struggle, then what does the cool drizzle, that followed? The very notion gives me gooseprickles. Doesn't it? :)
made cooler by Rohit on June 2, 2004 1:20 AM
lovely post. the memories still seem green in ur mind. one cant help but grow up if one has to survive. but then innocence returns at a later stage even tho it mite require conscious effort.
made cooler by ekshaks on June 2, 2004 3:25 AM
Rohit: Well that was the first thing that came into my head - the metaphorical meaning for the wind. But apparently, it could be protection too in a way - blinding my eyes (with the dust) to save me from the misery of seeing the truth. Of facing it. Only time will tell, how the storm surfaces - until then, its only your imagination and mine.
ekshaks: hanks :) Oh yes, indeed - we have to stick to innocence, no matter how much it has lost its value in today's scenario. You can outdo the other with the cleverest of moves, but deep within, only the innocent emotions keep you alive.
made cooler by Lime on June 3, 2004 5:09 PM